Saturday, January 18, 2014

Gnosior: Under the stars

March 2013
Hundreds and thousands
of days and the words that would fill them
will not be enough
to tell of
the moments that let themselves
    wanted for so long,
but perished faster than the snowflakes
    melted on your hand that day.

That, which I longed for,
    for months so quickly lost to the past,
that, which after I just wanted to want to forget
    but really did not - still haunts me for years to this day.
Like a bad dream bothering a child just awaken.
Too real, too different, too intense,
    yet too soon to let it go.

And then, being afraid to be back my old self,
    or maybe because of it.
I ran.

I still think
    of our kiss, yours – shy but courageous.
You called my name, every time a new name.
Sounding fit for the newer me, never the same.

And it came to pass, flown by the rushed currents of time.
A chance we got once, removed from before us
    before we could answer.

Why?
Why do we smile if it hurts inside?
Why do we try to raise our hurt self through the pain?
Forget, cling back to life?

I still remember you.
One moment in the light of a winter
Here, under the stars.